II Samuel 13:3, “And Amnon had a friend, whose name was Jonadab, the son of Shimeah David’s brother: and Jonadab was a very subtil man.”
I Samuel 18:1, “And it came to pass, when he had made an end of speaking unto Saul, that the soul of Jonathan was knit with the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul.”
It does not mention here in verse one that their souls were knitted to each other. It does say specifically that Jonathan’s soul was knit to David’s soul. In essence you have one soul in two bodies. Jonathan became a friend to David. The truth is when one becomes a Biblical friend to someone it is as if you lose your own will to be of help to them to do God's will.
Jonathan was the eldest son of King Saul. Jonathan was heir apparent to the throne. Jonathan was a man of character and quit capable of being king, but when he gave his soul to David his desire was that David be king instead!
Jonathan gave his friendship to David because he observed God’s hand on David. Jonathan witnessed how little David took the challenge of the giant Goliath and how he slew the giant. Jonathan perceived the anointing of God on David and he realized David would be a greater king. He decided that the nation would be better off with David as God’s choice and not Saul’s choice.
Jonathan gave David his sword, robe, scepter, and girdle. Notice real friendship is not two souls knitted together because that is a selfish agreement but one soul in two bodies is an unselfish commitment. Yes, it is one sided, but it is real Bible friendship!
Both Jonathan and King Saul have been killed in battle. David had tasted real friendship and he desired another relationship of real friendship. However, David did not examine what he had done to cause God to give him Jonathan as his friend. We have no record in Scripture of David being Jonathan’s friend, but we have clear Scripture to tell us that Jonathan was David’s friend.
David has experienced real friendship and he coveted it again and as a result he disqualified himself from being a friend and having a friend. David thus creates a title of “friend.” David later on made it a government office. Solomon later on made it the principal office, the office of “friend.”
David was attempting to find another Jonathan, but you do not make another Jonathan because it is God Himself who gives a Jonathan as a gift! David chooses Hushai to be the official “friend”
One of these friends was appointed to David’s first-born son whose name was Amnon. Jonadab was given by David, who was king, the family title of “friend” just for Amnon! King David now places on the payroll a "friend" for each of the royal children. Jonadab was paid to be a friend to Amnon not a friend like Jonathan, but an appointed hired “friend”
HERE IS THE STORY
Amnon became infatuated with the beauty of his half sister Tamar. Amnon lusted after her and called it “love.” However, it was merely a physical attraction. The hired “friend” Jonadab came to see Amnon and noticed that Amnon’s countenance was not good. He asked Amnon what was wrong? Amnon told Jonadab that he was in love with his half sister Tamar. Jonadab then began to help Amnon with this ungodly lust.
He told Amnon to play like he was sick and when the father comes and asks what is wrong tell him you are sick and need Tamar, the half sister, to come and take care of you. Jonadab then said when she comes in with the food ask the others to leave so you can be alone with her. Wait a minute this was his friend’s counsel. This is a kind of a friend that will give you worldly wisdom and tell you what you want to hear not what is best for you.
James 3:15, “This wisdom descendeth not from above, but is earthly, sensual, devilish.”
This is how any one ends up justifying the use of dope, liquor, bad music, etc. No one reading this article would say that Jonadab was a real friend. However, the truth is if you think hard enough you will realize you have Jonadab’s in your own life that are nothing more than hired friends. If you scratch their back they will scratch your back.
Amnon finally ended up raping his half sister Tamar. Jonadab is the kind of a friend who is against parental authority in fact any kind of elder statesmanship. This is the kind of a friend who with subtilty turns people against their elders. This is the type of person who is a friend as long as he has a title, but without the title does little if anything to help. “If you’ll be my friend I’ll be your friend! If you don’t do it my way I’ll do nothing for you.” Hired friends! Prostituted friends!
The result of this kind of so-called friend is hate, rape and death. David sends Tamar into Amnon who is professing to be ill. Amnon forces himself upon Tamar and rapes his half sister. Don’t forget this it was Amnon’s hired friend that thought this plan up! It was this fake friend who led him into this sin that was a crime against his own half sister.
It is time that we unselfishly give ourselves to those we profess to be friends. Why don’t we lose ourselves in a cause that is greater than ourselves that will lift us up above ourselves? This hired friendship caused Amnon to do some awful things that had built in repercussions.
· He raped his half sister Tamar
· Absalom David’s third son was infuriated with Amnon the first son
· Absalom thus began to hate Amnon
· Absalom plotted to murder Amnon
· David punished Absalom and banished him for 5 years from the palace
· As a result Absalom rebelled against his own father
· It caused a revolution against King David
· It resulted in Absalom being killed in battle
Don’t forget this hired friend caused Amnon to rape Tamar, which caused Absalom to be banished from the palace. Have you not wondered why Absalom rebelled against his father David? He was furious because David exiled him for murdering Amnon for raping Tamar and all of this because of a fake friend in Jonadab.
This hired friend Jonadab caused Amnon to rape his sister, Absalom to kill Amnon, King David to expel Absalom, Absalom to rebel against his own father, and a revolution against the King!
Absalom would not have been killed had he not led in a revolution against his father. He would not have led a revolution had he not been exiled for 5 years. He would not have been exiled had he not killed Amnon. He would not have killed Amnon had Amnon not raped Tamar. Amnon would not have raped Tamar had he not had Jonadab as a hired or fake friend!
I have often wondered how many men died or were destroyed because of a fake friend like this? I have often wondered how many orphans were made because of a fake friend? I have often wondered how many widows were created because of a fake friend?
When you are on top and winning they will be right there beside you riding your coattails. However, when you are attacked and it appears you are losing they will quickly deny they ever knew you.
The silence of friends is more deafening than the voices of your enemies.
Focus on doing the will of God by meeting the needs of others and do not worry about having a friend, but concentrate on being a friend.